Just some goofy thoughts from my workout this morning.
You have been a faithful friend over the years. You have provided me with your support and a variety of high calorie, high fat comfort foods over the years. Anytime there was a problem, I ran to you--and you were there.
Even though I appreciate what you saw as support, and doing your job as a "friend", this has to end. Our relationship has become a co-dependant one that has kept me from growing (unless we are talking about my waist size) as an individual. You see, there is a strong woman buried underneath years of neglect and unhealthy eating. I am going to find her.
I know you must have noticed the past couple of weeks, that I have been coming to you less. This is because I have been spending time with my elliptical, my stationary bike, and the workout DVDs that have been collecting dust or serving as clothing racks for the past few years. Truth be told, when they were new, we were good friends, and suddenly as life would have it, I was suddenly too "busy" for them, while I made even more time for you. Although I am sure you must feel bad about my need to have more space to develop other areas of my life, please see this as a positive and good thing for me, and be happy.
Although this separation may be difficult,please know that we will see each other again.However, it will be on a strictly professional rather than personal relationship.I will see you at breakfast, lunch and dinner, but we must keep it strictly to the business at hand. You see, I have chosen to live a healthier lifestyle. I have chosen to develop strength--physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. In doing so, our relationship must change. From now on, you will supply me with the things that I need and are healthy for me. In return, I will deal with the stuff that life throws at me, without crawling for you to fill a void that is not yours to fill.
I am sure that because of this new tranisition for me, that you will begin changing from the inside out as well. When we do see each other, I will put in the best things that are healthy inside you, and you will give me good and healthy things my body actually needs it.
In defining this, need is when my body physically needs food, not to fill me up emotionally because I have had a stressful day or because I am disappointed. I will come to you will I need to physically be fueled, not to be comforted. Your purpose from here on out, is to supply the things I need to be healthy, and not the things that will comfort for a moment--and then leave me feeling shame and guilt afterward. You have been a crutch upon which I have leaned for far too long and it is time that I take responsibility for what I need to do to alter the facts of what I have become.
I know change is hard, but this one is for the best. I can honestly say, that the fault solely lies on me--but our co-dependancy must stop. I am taking back my life and getting this relationship right is the first of many steps to follow in this journey. I know that you will partner with me in this new endeavor--as you always give to me all that I have given to you. Now, I leave you with my best, to which I am sure you will do the same