Hey everyone. Sorry I have not been around much. Life happens and I have not had much time to write and hang out here like I used to do. I have lost a little over 60 pounds and am currently jogging and hoping to be able to get in my first mile nonstop run pretty soon. I have determined that I do not really like running, but am doing this to keep a couple of promises that I made. The first was to my cousin that I would jog a 5k with him and sign up for one as soon as I could jog a mile. The second was to my grandaddy who is fighting parkinson's disease right now with all he has got. He is in rehab doing physical therapy. The hope is that he will stay in rehab until he is able to return home...but right now that is not exactly looking good. His days of staying alone in his home may be coming to an end soon. To keep him focused and positive, I made a deal that we would compare our training and our progress--the ups and downs if you will. For me, running seems just as impossible as some of the things that he is having to do for his rehab. I told him that we do hard in this family...and we were going to prove it to everyone by reaching our goals. I also told him that I got my stubborn gene directly from him! :)
And because of this, I have run in weather that was in the teens this week...up and down the driveway. I skipped out on Wednesday and Fridays runs, so tomorrow will be a longer run. I am doing run / walk intervals. Tomorrow will be a 40 minute run day instead of 20. That way I will have Sunday to recover and can start fresh on Monday. The running has been tough this week. Been dealing with some health issues related to losing weight. It seems that losing 60 pounds on a woman can do a number on a body that is used to being too fat. My iron level dropped, due to my diet shift and me giving blood every 2 or 3 months (Diet is healthy, but I did not take into account that extra iron was needed due to donating blood). My energy level tanked due to this. Next, my hormones have not adjusted to the new and better me...so I had to adjust some things there. This explains my plateau that hopefully will be busted in a few days. Other than that, I feel great and have been doing well.
To be honest, I do not know how I would have kept up with the whole work, visit grandaddy at the hospital and cook and clean the house afterwards schedule that I have kept for the past 3 weeks. I do not think that the "fatter former me" could have done it. The stress alone from his complications (hallucinations, pneumonia, kidney infections, and now, MERSA) would have had me in such a tizzy that I would not have known which end is up.
In a lot of ways, I am a totally different person. My priorities are different. My attitude is different. For the first time in a long time, I am healthier physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is scary to set goals that you never dreamed possible and actually begin to progress and see them within your grasp. I think that right there was a life changing thing. Once you realize that you can do anything, you try anything and don't fear failing nearly as much. Failure does not happen, unless you give up. As long as you keep pushing and working, failure is not an option.
I may never be a marathon runner. (Really no desire to run 26.2 miles when there is a perfectly good car is in the driveway). I may never be "stick thin" (and I don't really want to be, because I want to look and be strong). All I really want to be is a healthy Jennifer. I want to be courageous and dare to go for my dreams with all I have got. I want to live for God with all of my soul. I want to love my family and friends with every fiber of my being. I want to keep challenging myself and trying different things just to see if I can do it. The more I try, the more I am realizing that I can. I want to be fierce and known as a tenacious person who does not know the meaning of the word quit.
I am proud of me and how far I have come. I still have a long way to go, but I will get there and am enjoying the journey along the way. My life is different than it was when I started out this journey 7 months ago, and there is not a chance that I am ever going back. What I have gained in all of this has been amazing. I love and respect myself. I take care of myself so that I can take care of those I love. I also speak my mind and am more honest about the hard stuff. I don't make excuses and do not tolerate them from anyone anymore. It isn't about a lack of tolerance, but it is about reaching your potential and living the life God created me to live. That in itself is a gift, and while my calling may not look like yours, both are equally important in the eyes of God because each life serves a special purpose in reaching out to others...and in the end, that is all that really matters.